Surprise: The final class.
Sitting down in our OCIA class today, a wave of mixed emotions engulfed me. It was a surprise to learn that technically, this was our last session. Next week will be primarily housekeeping ahead of the Easter vigil. I have been anticipating and looking forward to the end of OCIA since week three, and counting down the weeks, eager for the program to be over. Each session felt like a milestone toward a goal, and I convinced myself that once finished, I'd feel a sense of relief. But sitting here this morning, comprehending that the end has arrived, I realized I hadn't prepared myself for what's next. My brain maintained autopilot mode this morning, expecting routine, not this sudden actuality of closure.
The past 39 weeks have paradoxically felt both overwhelmingly long and fast. It's strange how time can stretch and compress depending on where we stand in our journeys. Sometimes, the weeks felt like a never-ending marathon, with each class demanding attention, reflection, and transition. Also... it feels like just yesterday when I nervously stepped into that first session in an uncomfortable dress, shaking the hand of the rector, uncertain of what was ahead.
Reflecting on the past ten months, I acknowledge the growth (even when marked with growing pains). OCIA isn't just about learning doctrine or rituals; it's about a personal transformation and a total conversion of heart. Through the ups and downs of the program, I've delved deeper into my beliefs, questioned my doubts, and found solace in Christ as I've learned to trust while engaging with the community that surrounds me. Overall, this has been a process of shedding old beliefs, embracing new ones, and finding a sense of belonging within the Church.
Amidst the growth and learning, there's also an odd sense of loss. The end of OCIA marks the end of a chapter, a structured period of growth and discovery. While I'm excited to take the next step in my faith journey, there's a bittersweet feeling knowing that this part is coming to an end.
Looking ahead, I'm not entirely sure what to expect over the coming weeks. The anticipation of the Easter vigil looms, but there's also a sense of uncertainty about what comes after. Will I continue to feel connected to the community? Will I maintain the same level of commitment to Catholicism without the format of OCIA? Will I settle into this parish community or find another? As we wrap up the last details and preparations for the Easter vigil, I find myself grappling with these emotions, but embracing the uncertainty of what lies beyond. One thing is certain: the journey doesn't end here. Conversion is a continuous process of growth, learning, and discovery, and I'm grateful for the experiences that OCIA has afforded me. In the Catholic Church, I've discovered more than just a place of worship; I've found a home that encompasses every aspect of my life—faith, lifestyle, and culture. From the profound spiritual teachings to the rich traditions and rituals that permeate every Mass, the Catholic Church has provided me with a sense of belonging, despite the clash with popular culture. It's not just about attending Mass on Sundays; it's about embracing a way of life rooted in love, compassion, and service. Through the sacraments, prayers, and community involvement, I've found a haven where my faith flourishes, a lifestyle that aligns with my values, and my identity in Christ is accepted and celebrated.
Closing this chapter as I am embarking on living the rest of my life as a Catholic woman, I hope to continue to deepen my faith and bloom. OCIA may be (almost) over, but I have a feeling this is simply another step toward a life of discovery, expression, and love.
All of my best days are ahead.
In Christ,
Kayla